Best of HP & Tekken
by Divinely Ethereal
Summary: Has anyone ever done a HarryPotterxTekken crossover? No? Too bad... Who knew the HP characters and the Tekken crew had so much in common? R&R plz!
1. Chapter 1

**Best Of HP & Tekken**

_**A/N: Thank God it's Thursday! First week back wasn't exactly a picnic! ( Glances at**_

_**Sophomore level Phys, Chem, Bio & Calculus books on her desk). Arrrgh! How I**_

_**miss good old Algebra & Geometry! Anyway, I don't own either Tekken or Harry**_

_**Potter. Feel free to check out my other works, mainly "An Alternate Life" and **_

_**"Strong and Streetwise". And if you feel that humour/parody is not my forte, you**_

_**can check out my brother's " Detour in Detroit".**_

(Harry, Ron and Hermione suddenly appear on the spot)

Harry: Did it work Hermione?

Hermione: I-I don't know, Harry!

Ron: Bloody hell! Hermione, what timeline is this?

Harry: Look, it doesn't matter, we've got to warn the Muggles of Voldemort's plans!

_The trio rush over to the first group of people they see- the Tekken crew!_

Harry: Hey, there; we need to talk!

Hwoarang(noticing the robes and hats): The hell is that? We got our own freak show, you know(points at Yoshi, the bears, the kangaroo, Paul, King and Bryan)

Hermione(rolling her eyes): Ha-bloody-ha!

Hwoarang: Hey, you're hot!(gets punched by Asuka) Ouch!

Ron(steps up to Hwoarang):First, it was that ruddy pumpkin-head Krum, now it's a bloke who looks like he's been snorting Wartroot Powder in Knockturn Alley!

Hwoarang: Dude, what's your problem?( To Hermione): Hey, babe, I'm the world's sexiest red-head, not your pal Freckles!

Ron: Piss off!

Lily: Mind zee language!_Mon Dieu_, are all zee red-heads zat bad?!( "floats" away with her nose in the air and her sheet of silvery blonde hair flowing behind her).

Ron(dazed): Fleur?

Hermione: Ron!

Harry: Will you just listen people?! We've taken a Timeturner to your timeline to warn you-

Xiaoyu( in a high-pitched voice): A Timeturner! You mean just like my time machine?(giggles)

Ron(stares at Xiao's pigtails and pink bangles): Blimey, just when I thought no-one could be any weirder than Loony Lovegood!

Xiao(giggles some more): Say hello to these nice people, Panda!

Ron(stares at Panda with all her customized items): Bloody hell! And I thought Scabbers was an awful pet!

Harry: Enough already! Like I was saying, we- ( notices Hwoarang's motorcycle and Yoshimitsu's sword.)Hey, that's Sirius's bike, and that's Gryffindor's sword! How did you...

Hwoarang(Pulls Harry's hat over his eyes): Beat it, geek!

Hermione: Stop it! You're the most appalling person I've ever had the misfortune to meet!

Hwoarang: Whoa!(Looks at Asuka then at Hermione then back at Asuka): Sorry, Asuka babe, but you're officially dumped.

Asuka:...

_She suddenly charges Hermione, and they engage in a catfight. Asuka has the upper hand of course._

Jin( doing his boring Katas): Are you done already? I have some old family scores to settle, you know!

Ron: For Goodness' sake, Hemione, you're a witch!

Hermione: Right!

_She uses her wand to cast a full Body Bind Curse on Asuka._

Hermione: That takes care of that. Now you were saying Harry?

_But before Harry can utter a word- BANG!_

Gruff voice: Never-_BANG_-look up-_BANG-_a girl's skirt_-BANG-_when her back is-_BANG-_turned!

_Everyone turns around to see Mad Eye Moody and Nymphadora Tonks. Moody is pointing his wand at a ginger ferret bobbing up and down in the air._

Ron: Wicked!

Tonks: Wotcha Harry! Sorry about that( turns Hwoarang back into himself with a flick of her wand)

Moody: Just came to make sure you weren't being followed, Potter. And Miss Granger, remember: CONSTANT VIGILANCE!

_Everyone jumps_

Xiao: Awwww! Hwoarang made such a cuddley little ferret!(suddenly squeals with delight at Tonks's bubble-gum pink hair): Oh my Gosh, your hair is so awesome! Do mine the same! Please, Please!( Bounces on the balls of her feet like the hyper girl she is).

Tonks: Maybe some other time.( Disapparates with Moody)

Harry(running his hands through his hair with frustration): Are you prepared to listen now?!

Xiao(noticing Harry's scar): Oh my Gosh, your scar is soooo kawaii, just like Jin-Jin's tattoo! Another Fatal Lightning, yay!

Jin: Hey, I'm the one and only Fatal Lightning!

Hwoarang(shoves him aside): Shut up, loser, at least the geek here DOES have a lightning shaped scar.

Harry: All right! That's it!( Casts a Silencing Charm on everyone): Lord Voldemort's coming to this timeline! He's this psycotic murderer who killed my parents! And now he wants to take over! But we musn't let him, and you're going to help us stop him!(He removes the Silencing Charm)

Hwoarang: Dude, go easy on the LSD!

_Pops are suddenly heard. Everyone turns around to see Lucius and his son Draco_

Lucius: I really don't have time for filthy Muggle talk. Hand over the boy! He belongs to the Dark Lord!

_Ron and Hermione step defensively in front of Harry_

Hermione: If you want Harry, you must get through us first!

Draco: Pot Head's not a saint; at least not in this timeline! It's that one the Dark Lord wants(points at Jin)

_Everyone gasps_

Hwoarang( Looks at Steve, then at the Malfoys then back at Steve): That's it; I'm kicking your ass for being related to these freaks!

Steve: What? Just because of the accent and the hair?! Why, why did Namco have to make me blond and British?!( runs off crying)

_In the fight that follows, the good guys are overpowered by Dark Magic, and the Malfoys grab Jin and Disapparate with him._

_At Number 12, Grimmauld Place,_

_Jin comes to, finds himself bound on the floor, and sees none other than Lord Voldemort staring down at him_

Voldemort: So we meet at last, Chosen One, Child of Destiny, and of Darkness and Light.

Jin: And Fatal Lightning, if you please!

Voldemort: I shall destroy you, wipe all traces of your existence, just as I have done with my filthy Muggle father and grandfather.

Jin: You actually had a score to settle with your predecessors? Great, that must mean I'm not the only revenge-driven emo around here! Can you tell me how you did it?

Voldemort:...

_Pops are heard as Harry, Ron & Hermione Apparate into the room with the young Tekkenites and Kazuya Mishima_

Kazuya: No-one messes with the Mishimas and lives to tell the tale!(left eye glows)

Voldemort(eyes glowing too): ABRA KADABRA, no wait, AVADA KEDAVRA!

_Kazuya dodges and transforms into Devil, then battles Voldemort. The blasts awaken the portrait of Sirius's mother_

Sirius's Mum: MUTANT! FREAK! YOU DARE DEFILE THE HOUSE OF MY FATHERS!

Kazuya(sends a laser beam at her portrait): Shut up, you old hag!

_Meanwhile Xiao and the rest free Jin who is eager to join in the battle. Voldemort sends a killing curse at Kazuya._

Jin: Oh, no you don't! I spent my entire 21 years plotting to kill my father! You won't ruin it for me now!

_The curse hits him and surprisingly rebounds back on Voldemort, who disappears with a cry of agony and a blast of green light._

Ron: Bloody hell! What just happened?

Harry: Voldemort's vanquished? But how, I'm the Chosen One, the one who's supposed to finish him off!

Hwoarang: How can a geek like you finish anything? Man, that freak was pretty strong, how could a wuss like Kazama beat him?

Kazuya: I don't believe this! That bastard son of mine stole my glory once more!

Xiao: Jin-Jin saved the day, yay!

_Authoress: Don't you get it you fools? Jin Kazama vanquished Voldemort because he has one thing in common with Harry Potter; his mother Jun Kazama died for him, just like Lily Potter died for Harry! Old magic, lingering protection etc..._

Everyone: Oh...

_Epilogue: Harry, Ron & Hermione return to their original timeline_

Harry: Some adventure...

Hermione: It wasn't that bad really...

Ron: That redheaded prat, though!

Hermione: Oh, don't worry about him; he'll learn his lesson.

_Tekken Timeline_

_Hwoarang is trying to look up Julia's skirt._

Steve: Great Scott!

Hwoarang: What?

Steve: Your bloody face!

_Hwoarang rushes off to a restroom and looks in the mirror. His face is covered with angry red boils spelling the word_

_"PERVERT"_

Hwoarang: Shit...

_**A/N: I do hope you enjoyed this. Please, people, review,okay?**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter II**

**A/N: Wow, really glad so many people like this!**

**Do me proud readers, please: Read & Review**

**So sick of writing this over and over, and I still**

**own nothing but my silly little fic.**

_Tekken Timeline_

(Kazuya is persuading Xiaoyu to build him a time machine that would take him and the Tekken crew to the HP timeline)

Kaz: Do it, and I'll buy you Claire's!

Xiao: No-no...

Kaz: Candy Land?

Xiao: Nuh-ah...

Kaz: What about Disney Land?

Xiao: Heihachi built me one already...

Kaz: Damn, there's got to be something...wait, if it's Jin you want, you can have him; just get it done!

Xiao: Yaaaaaaaaaay! ( all the glass of Mishima Manor shatters)

XXXXXXX

(The time machine is ready, but...)

Jin: Noooo! How could you sell me out?! Have you any idea what Xiao will do to me?! I'll die a slow and painful death!

(Kaz shoves him into the time machine, where most of the Tekkenites are gathered)

Kaz: Stop whining! There's nothing wrong with having a tea party with a bunch of Barbie Dolls and Ling Xiaoyu; that's very character building stuff.

(And they're off...)

XXXXXXX

_HP Timeline_

(The Tekkenites appear in the Great Hall of Hogwarts School, where the only ones to be shocked at their presence are our fav Trio)

Ron: Bloody hell!

Hermione: What on Earth are they doing here?

Harry: I just hope they haven't brought Voldemort along!

Professor McGonagall: Silence! Now will the new students come forward to be sorted?

Kaz( glancing up from _Hogwarts: A History_ which he seems to have swindled off Hermione): Listen boy, if you don't get sorted into the noble House of Slyherin, you're no son of mine!

Jin(yawning): anything else?

Kaz: Yes; I'll lock you up in the Manor dungeon with Ogre.

Jin: I can handle that...

Kaz: ... and with Ling Xiaoyu, to complete this vision of perfection.

Jin:...

McGonagall: Chang, Julia!

(Puts on the hat)

Sorting Hat: Hmmm, brainy... RAVENCLAW!

(Applause)

McGonagall: Fox, Steve!

Hat: Hmm, cheesy... HUFFLEPUFF!

(Applause)

McGonagall: Hwoarang!

Hwo:_ Put me with the hot girl, put me with the hot girl..._

Hat: You want to be placed in the same house as the hot girl? Are you sure?

( Collective gasp from Hall)

Hwo(sarcastic): Damn, say it louder, why don't you; there's gotta be a couple of people fifty light years away from hearing you...

Hat: Well, since you seem to be as fiery-headed as any other Weasley...GRYFFINDOR!

( Applause mingled with groans from the Trio)

McGonagall: Ling, Xiaoyu!

Hat: Hmmm, very energetic, ignorant and bold... GRYFFINDOR!

(Applause)

McGonagall: Mishima, Jin!

Jin:_ Not Gryffindor, not Gryffindor; don't want to end up in a dungeon with Xiao; Slytherin please!_

Hat: Hmmm, you have a dark gift; you'll do well in... SLYTHERIN!

( Jin almost faints with relief, but when he sees the Slytherin Common Room...)

Jin: Damn you Father; this _place _is a dungeon!

(Meanwhile, in Gryffindor Common Room)

Fred&George: Hello, Cousin Bob!

Hwo: My name's Hwoarang, dammit!

Xiao(skipping happily about): Say hello to Jin-Jin!

Hwo: Kazama?!

Xiao: No, silly, Jin-Jin the Pygmy Puff, my new pet!(shows him the fluffy pink creature)

Fred&George: Yeah, Xiao just bought the entire girls' section of our Weasley's Wizard Wheezes!

Hwo:...

XXXXXXX

(Next morning finds Hwoarang running out of the 2nd floor girls' bathroom, soaked and screaming like a madman)

Hwo: Arrrrrrrrgh!

Steve: What on Earth- you look like you've just seen a ghost!

Hwo: That's 'cuz I did see a ghost, dumbass! Only this one's ten times worse than a pissed off Julia! She flooded the damn bathroom!

Steve: And what were you doing in a girls' bathroom- no wait, why am I asking, when your delightful acne is beginning to tell the tale.

Hwo(grabs his face): Shit, not again!

XXXXXXX

(Class with Gilderoy Lockhart)

Lockhart: Welcome! As it's our first day, we'll be keeping busy answering my fanmail(gives his annoying cheesy grin)

Girls: sigh! 

Hwo: Oh, I'm gonna puke! He's actually worse than you, Steve! ( to Lockhart): Dude, we came here to learn some cool magic tricks. Do you know _anything?_

Lockhart: Why yes, I happen to be very gifted with Memory Charms.

Anna(standing up): Memory Charms! Why, that's just the thing my sister Nina needs! Perhaps I can persuade you to teach me?( smiles flirtatiously)

Lockhart: sorry, love, but I happen to be married... to fame!

Anna(laughing): Oh, but I wasn't talking about _that_ kind of persuasion!( Pulls out her buzooka and proceeds to shoot down the class)

(Students start screaming and running; Harry, Ron and Hermione are the only ones left)

Lockhart: Well, I'll just leave you three to clear it all up...(he bails as well)

Trio: ...

XXXXXXX

(Class with Dolores Umbridge-silent reading, but Xiao and Miharu are talking quietly)

Xiao: You know Miharu, Gryffindor House really needs a makeover!

Miharu: Oh, I don't know, Xiao. Red and gold are fine.

Xiao: No they're not! The main theme should be...PINK! Pink banners, pink scarves, pink drapings...

Umbridge(coming up on the two unsuspecting girls with one of her infamous rolls of pink parchment): _Hem, hem, _how about a pink slip, to be delivered to your Head of House?

Hwoarang: EWWW! Nobody wants to see your draws, lady!

Umbridge:...

( When Harry & Co next see Hwoarang, his right hand is bleeding badly)

Hwo: Damn, if you freaks keep doing things to me, I'll end up more scarred than the Mishimas!

XXXXXXX

**A/N: Hah, I really enjoyed writing this chapter! Are you people happy about the Sorting? I hope you are!**

**Marauder fans will be pleasantly surprised next chapter, and so will those hoping to see Voldy's butt kicked**

**around by our beloved Tekken crew!**

**Till next time, then!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter III**

_**A/N: Tekken and Harry Potter are the properties of JK Rowling and Namco respectively. So so sorry for having neglected this fic for so long. I got carried away with other projects. I know, dumb, unforgivable excuse. And what's more, I'm taking a radically different stance this time. Say goodbye to script format! But if you don't like it like that, please tell me, so I can revert back to script.**_

It was yet another ordinary school day, at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry... Or as ordinary as it could get, with our beloved HP and Tekken crews locked together in eternal conflict, er, I mean classes. Yes, classes. True, there was a little bit of bizzareness, even by wizarding standards. What had started out as a cat-fight between Lily Roquefort and Fleur Delacour over some boy had quickly ended up with both girls somehow sporting colourful punk hairdos, much to Moaning Myrtle's delight. Meanwhile, Ling Xiaoyu and Luna Lovegood had weirded out everyone within a ten mile radius of Hogsmeade Village. The Chinese girl had been spotted wearing radish earings, a cork necklace and a pair of Spectre Specs. She was also reading the _Tekken 6 Manual_ upside down. Her English counterpart had adopted the _pigtails-pink bangles-princess_ look.( " I never thought I'd say it, but she sure looked good in the Panda Fetish days!" was Hwoarang's remark as he nodded at Xiao and tried to suppress a shudder.)

There were even more drastic happenings. Although unaware, Steve Fox had completely replaced Draco Malfoy as everyone's Beloved Blond British Bonbon, particularly in those steamy Draco X Hermione fics. In fact, the entire Malfoy family was in disgrace. It had something to do with the afforementioned blond shattering the Malfoy Superiority Complex , by being the first ever in their line to be sorted into the House of Hufflepuff. As things currently stood, Severus Snape wouldn't be caught dead talking to Lucius Malfoy. Instead, he'd taken to hanging out with Kazuya Mishima, who, strangely, managed to provide him with this weird sense of _deja vu._ Maybe the red eyes and the ruthless badass attitude reminded him of why he'd been initially attracted to Voldemort- before the whole Lily Evans/Potter-fiasco, that is. And let's face it, even in his purple suit, Kazuya didn't look half as nancy-ish as good ol' Lucius.

XXXXXXX

_Defence Against The Dark Arts: Professor Lupin_

There was something terribly exciting in being able to summon up a Patronus, an animal-like spectre that represents its castor's personality or preferences. And the Tekken crew took that to heart.

"I'm gonna get you, you stupid Care Bear!" Paul Phoenix snarled, somehow locking his grizzly bear Patronus in a stranglehold. The poor thing, in turn, was trying to bear-hug Ling Xiaoyu's panda Patronus, while Julia's buffalo Patronus cantered around, almost trampling Asuka's wildcat Patronus.

Meanwhile, Jin and Hwoarang had managed to transform this DADA lesson to a whole new different level. More accurately, to a fierce_ Pokemon_ duel level.

As Hwoarang's hawk Patronus got the better of Jin's bat Patronus, the red-head yelled triumphantly, " Ha! I'm still pwning you, Kazama, even in magic!" He suddenly looked deadly serious. Then-

" Alright, Rang-mon! _Hunting Hawk_, NOW! Finish this!" The Korean cried dramatically, in his best Ash Ketchum imitation.

Needless to say, Jin had his ass handed to him...royally... and at the cost of levelling roughly half of Professor Lupin's classroom.

The Professor emerged from the wreckage, coughing up dust. " I should have just stuck to the lesson plan and let them do those bloody Boggarts!"

XXXXXXX

_Double Potions: Professor Snape_

This wasn't the time or place for Hwoarang to shine. Professor Snape handed the students their homework assignments, muttering darkly about "T's" and "Dunderheads". Draco Malfoy set up his usual " Someone-got-a-T-_ha_!" chant, while Hwoarang glared at the spiky black "T" on his copybook, wishing he had Kazuya Mishima's stare which could melt mountains... and obliterate this dirty piece of evidence.

"What does T stand for?" Harry whispered to Hermione.

" Troll," she whispered back.

Hwoarang blanched, then abruptly stood up, knocking over his desk. "Did _you_ look in the mirror, lately?" he shot at Snape. " Cuz you sure look like something Kazama's lame-ass Patronus coughed up!"

There was a heavy, incredulous silence, during which Hwoarang craned his neck to get a good look at Jin's assignment. " What the hell, man! You gave Kazama an O !"

" A hundred-times-infinity points from Gryffindor, I think, and a year's worth of detentions," Snape sneered. He also flicked his wand, and the word "TROLL" super-imposed itself on Hwoarang's face, just above the word "PERVERT."

The lesson proceeded smoothly after that - until Xiaoyu added "Grandpa Wang's Recipe" of "pink, spice and everything nice" to her potion, which turned a shocking pink colour and reeked of bubblegum.

Snape gritted his teeth." I never thought I would see the day when Potter and Longbottom's _extraordinary_ potion-making skills would be bested by such competition." Xiaoyu's punishment was to lap up her potion '' until the very last drop''. She went extremely hyper after that, and had to be tied down like Frankenstein's Monster, because she'd been zooming around the classroom, smashing Snape's precious jars.

After Hwoarang's first detention session, he turned up in the Common Room, dazed, shivering, and generally looking like he'd been victimized by an alliance of Dementors and Ogres.

"You should be grateful Snape didn't curse you into a jelly!" Hermione sniffed with little sympathy, still angry about all the points Gryffindor had lost.

XXXXXXX

It was warm outside, so the HP and Tekken youngsters decided to spend their free time lazing in the grounds, by the lake. When they reached Hagrid's hut, the Tekkenites had a shock to see none other than _Craig Marduk_ trailing Hagrid into the Forbidden Forest, lugging Hagrid's equipment behind him.

"MARDUK?" Asuka cried.

" Yeah, Hagrid's assistant, d'you know him?" Harry said.

" He's s'pposed to be Hagrid's second cousin twice removed, actually... or something like that," Ron added.

"Makes sense," Hwoarang quipped after getting his first glimpse of Hagrid's huge and less-than-civil appearance.

XXXXXXX

Hwoarang wanted to duel Jin badly, but before any action could be taken, they all heard the roaring of an engine, and a sleek, black motorcycle pulled up beside them, followed by two broomsticks. They could hear the magically magnified _Bad Boys_ blaring over the radio, before it was turned off and two boys hopped off, just as another pair dismounted from the broomsticks.

"And how are we doing today, guys and gals?" the boy who'd been riding in front drawled. He had dark hair falling elegantly all over his face. "I'm Serius Black, by the way." He smiled, and even Hwoarang had to admit that it wasn't as bad as Lockhart's smile.

The HP lot were staring at the new arrivals, mesmerized. Harry's mouth was opening and closing like a gold-fish's. " You... here...not right..."

Xiaoyu took one look at the boy beside Sirius, glanced back at Harry and squealed," Wow! Just like looking at Jin-Jin and his Daddy!"

James Potter's hand instantly flew to his hair at the sound of the voice, but then he lowered it as he saw Xiao. " Nah, not my type!"

"Da-" Harry began, but Hermione nudged him, and gave him a whispered earful about time travel and how revealing his relationship to a time-traveller could alter the future.

The kid Harry knew to be Lupin began, " Ok, so we don't really know who you are, or what timeline this really is-I _could _have made sure, but then some people decided to tackle me to the ground while I was setting off the TimeTurner." He glared at James and Sirius.

" Hey, you were about a nano-second from going werewolf on our arses, anyway!" Sirius pointed.

" Not my fault!" Lupin huffed.

"Oookay," Jin sighed."This is starting to get familiar. Did you come to warn us about some evil lord?"

" Yeah..." Peter said.

" Crazy as hell?" Jin continued.

" Terribly so," Lupin nodded gravely.

" And he wants me in the ground?" Jin pressed.

" That about sums it up, mate!" James chuckled.(Harry rather thought his father had a warped sense of humour)

Jin sighed again." THEN BRING IT ON!" he yelled at the heavens.

Nothing happened.

"Okay, while we wait for Voldemort to get his arse out of the booby-traps we set for him on the way, let's all have some fun! WHOOO!" Sirius declared, then whistled and called over to the students scattered all over the school grounds." You there, lass!" he called at Asuka. He'd taken a shine to her and now treated her to his most charming smile." Mind going on a ride with yours truly?" he winked.

"Sorry, Ho-rang," Asuka sneered at the red-head," but _you're_ officially dumped!"

"Hey! You can't do that!" Hwoarang protested.

"She just did, mate!" James laughed while Peter snickered sycophantly.

Lupin wasn't amused. " Hey, guys, if we don't have to fight Voldemort now, could we at least do something _ meaningful_, like test each other on Transfiguration so we can pass our OWLS?" He held up the textbook.

James and Sirius groaned. " You know," Sirius began," I've no idea how Lupin ended up being a Marauder."

Peter snickered again, and James said," That goes for you too, Wormtail! Hey, I _KNOW_!" He and Sirius huddeled together and had a whispered debate.

Meanwhile, Julia had wandered up to Lupin with a similar book. " Hey," she said, "I can help you there. How about we go to the library?"

Lupin sneaked a look at his partners-in-crime and said, " It's a date!" He and Julia slipped away, unnoticed( No, she never even noticed the young Marauder's resemblance to their present DADA teacher)

" Umm, hello, what are you guys discussing?" Harry asked his father and godfather, while trying to brush away a bouncing Ling Xiaoyu.

Fortunately for him, Ginny Weasley turned up. "Oh, no you don't! Harry's mine!" She cast a perfect Bat Bogey Hex on poor Xiao.

" Wow, fiesty!" Hwoarang cried, momentarily distracted. " That's it ,man, if all the chicks are like that here, then I'm asking Namco for a transfer!"

When Xiaoyu returned to her Jin-Jin's side, she saw that she had a fight on her hands, because another Chinese girl had his attention, and she was as Emo as Xiao was bubbly: _ Cho-Chang!_

" Attention, everyone!" Sirius suddenly called." Ok, so me and James came up with something. We decided that some job replacements are in order. Any two of you who can impress us is guaranteed a membership card to the coolest gang in the whole wide wizarding world: the Marauders!"

"Oookay," Hwoarang began. " What do we have to do?"

Sirius and James transformed into a dog and a stag respectively.

"Can you _begin_ to match that, boys?" James asked smugly, once they'd reverted back to human form.

Hwoarang thought that maybe he could... in his wildest dreams. But Jin had other ideas.

" _That's _all?"he chortled. "Well, step aside for the master!" And he transformed into Devil Jin, in his blackest, hairiest form, and shot a laser beam for good measure( it hit Draco Malfoy and set the hem of his robes on fire.)

The two Marauder Masterminds were speechless, but that also went for the Tekkenites. Xiaoyu had actually paused mid-bounce.

"He's in, he's DEFINITELY in!" Sirius screeched." Anyone else?"

Hwoarang moped about, muttering darkly. No, he couldn't _match_ that, but maybe he could _top_ it. He grinned, extracting from his backpack one of his most prized possessions. "It's fun time!" he held the object above his head. It glinted in the afternoon sun.

It was a silver PSP...

James and Sirius were over the moon. " Blimey, this is LOADS better than Quidditch!" James exclaimed, as he played a _Need For Speed _ game for the umpteenth time, Sirius egging him on over his shoulder. " And yeah, I almost forgot, you're in too!" Hwoarang whoped and punched the air.

"I thought you said all that Muggle stuff couldn't work here at Hogwarts," Harry muttered to Hermione.

" I _did_ say that," she replied with a shrug.

" Hey, " Harry called to his father." Why can't I join in? Look, I can cast a Stag Patronus! And you're my-uh, never mind!" he seethed.

XXXXXXX

Voldemort arrived that evening, during dinner. He stormed through the Entrance Hall and into the Great Hall. He was sopping wet, his robes were in tatters, and he had an alligator clinging to him. " Those Miserable Marauders! They will wish they had never been born!" He summoned his Death Eaters, and pointed his wand at Jin, but before anyone could react-

"No-one will hurt my Jin-Jin!" Xiaoyu squealed, getting to her feet. She waved her wand a bit and lo, and behold, she suddenly looked like she just popped out of _Sailor Moon_.

"Attack!" Voldemort commanded his Death Eaters.

"Tea-party Time!" Xiaoyu flicked her wand and Lucius Malfoy suddenly looked more like Goldilocks than ever. So, as a matter of fact, did a dozen Death Eaters.

"Ah, I always thought pink frocks looked a right sight better than Death Eater robes, anyway!" Sirius said, putting his feet up on the table, enjoying the show.

The baddies all raised their wands to strike, but Xiaoyu turned the wands into candy sticks. Except Voldemort's. He ended up holding up a lollipop the size of Hagrid and Marduk combined. The ground didn't hold, and the skinny badass found himself plummeting two floors down, to land in the dungeons, more specifically on Snape, who was busy brewing some horrid potion for Hwoarang to try in his next detention session. The Death Eaters screamed like little schoolgirls, hitched up the skirts of their dresses, and exited straight through the walls, leaving Death Eaters-In-Dresses- shaped holes in their wake.(Lucius also left behind a pink, satin shoe).

XXXXXXX

_Three Days Later_

Hwoarang was still determined to get revenge on Snape, and he enlisted the help of the other Marauders.

" I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good!" Hwoarang said, as he tapped the Marauder's Map. Then he, Jin, James, Sirius and Harry, though he wasn't a Marauder, tracked down Severus Snape and Kazuya Mishima, drugged them, tied them up, took hair samples, and dumped them in the Vanishing Cabinet( Jin sincerely hoped his father would reappear in Ogre's Temple from Tekken 3.. or better, in a volcano.)

"Ok, remind me why we're doing it this way, when we could _Imperius_ them into doing it," Harry asked.

" Cuz it's more fun this way," Hwoarang replied, and he winked at the other two bad boys. Jin and Harry felt left out. Then it was time to flip a couple of coins to see which unlucky pair had to put up with the unpleasant task ahead. Jin and Harry picked Heads, while James and Sirius took Tails, and Hwoarang tossed... and got Heads; the bad boys were off the hook, while the other two groaned. Hwaorang winked, and passed Sirius one coin-it was a fake, with both faces sporting Heads.

Jin and Harry took some PolyJuice Potion and transformed into Kazuya and Snape respectively. They were all standing in an abandoned corridor and the coast seemed clear.

"C'mon, do it!" Hwoarang hissed.

" Hell no!" Jin protested.

" You'll have to kill me first!" Jin chimed in.

" You boys made a pact!" James said. " I told you, Harry, I _might _ consider adding you to the team, _if_ you pull this off!"

" And besides," Sirius added. "No-one would ever know it was you two!"

Finally the two boys stepped forward and exchanged a very very fleeting( as in one nano-second long) kiss.

"Whooo!" Hwoarang cried as he caught the thing on his cell camera, ignoring the unfortunate duo's gags and splutters.

"Brilliant!" James hooted.

"Wicked!" Sirius added.

It didn't take them long to use magic to make House banners(all the houses) that showed the 'scene' in agonizing slow motion. But unfortunately for them, they didn't expect that Muggle cameras could see through the deception. So a short while after the banners were hung in the whole school( five seconds really), a cross-eyed duck could tell that it was Jin and Harry kissing.

So Hwoarang didn't get his revenge, but at least he'd humiliated his rival. But no magic in the world could save the Korean once Jin went Devil on him.

XXXXXXX


End file.
